"How did I get here? " 

It was a rainy cold Tuesday night in Canada, I was driving home after a long work day during rush hour traffic. 

 I had this gut wrenching feeling in my stomach, my hand was shaking, I felt I was gonna throw up or pass out. 

I pulled over to the side and tried to think what had just happened but my mind was complete shut off. I wanted to dial somebody for help but I felt a piles of rocks on my shoulders, my arms, my whole body and one single movemen can crashed me. 

And I just sat there in the car, completely overwhelmed and waiting all this to pass.  

As I slowly recover, I was thinking to myself : "How did I get here? " 

I had a good corporate job with lots of growth and years of experience sourcing natural food ingredients. I married the man of my dreams. I had food on the table and roof over my head. 

 It seemed like a very good life for a new immigrant. But, I know how much work and sacrifice, both physically and mentally I put into for this "good life".  

The truth was my energy drained out every day, my mind often drifted off and shut off from time to time.  

And this car incident was a wake up call for me to take care of myself.  

I managed to get home and that night my husband and I decided to take some time off and we booked vacation to go back home Japan.